Friday, August 28, 2009

This Lovely Life

This morning Kathleen woke up early. I fed her, changed her, and handed her to Brian while I made coffee. And she fell back asleep. The house was wonderfully quiet, and I sat at the kitchen table with my coffee and warm muffins and finished reading Vicki Forman's This Lovely Life. I almost got online right away to tell you to go get a copy and read it, but I need to sit with it for a bit.

So here I am, some 12+ hours later telling you to get a copy and read it. It is not easy reading: I made myself read something else for a few nights, though I wanted to continue, because my mind and emotions got worked up and I couldn't sleep. Vicki's experience was far from my own, but her descriptions brought me back to the hospital, to the fearful days at home of oxygen and complex med schedules, to a world where "okay" and "normal" shifts each time you think you almost have your footing in the new world.

Before I started reading This Lovely Life I expected a book about parenting a child with a disability. I knew Vicki's son, Evan, had special needs and that Vicki had written on the subject elsewhere. The subtitle of the book, A Memoir of Premature Motherhood, gave me a different expectation. And then I started reading this book about being a mother and about figuring out what that means when you don't get the expected 9 months = healthy baby scenario. I read about a journey from grief to self-forgiveness, from the nightmare of this can't be happening to the still challenging and heartbreaking, but lovely, life.

You can read more about the book here.


  1. Thanks for the review. I've started it but not very far along as it gives me the chills. The author writes with such truthfulness.

  2. Thank you, Sara, for these beautiful words, even admidst your own hard journey. You are a brave and beautiful mom.