Yesterday I was talking to my friend Amy about sharing news even when it is hard to here. We talked about how it was hard for me when she had her third baby in March 2008, three months after Henry died. She remembered calling to tell me she had had the baby, she remembered me saying congratulations, and then tears. And her telling of that moment put me back there in that swimming place of happiness for another, relief, but mostly sadness and jealousy. I remember how hard it hit me when she told me, even though I had been expecting it. I remember not being able to speak. And yesterday, for a moment I was plunged back there and tears came again.
Today, I got a message from a friend on Facebook (the one I wrote about here). She apologized for not responding sooner (she's in the middle of a job change and a move). Her response was sincere and thoughtful and acknowledged the breadth of my experience without glossing over Henry with Kathleen. It was a relief to get her response. I had kind of written it off, but I suppose on some level it still bugged me.