Monday, April 19, 2010

To let it go

I've written before about the lines I love from Mary Oliver. You can hear Jess at After Iris Reads Aloud read the poem "In Black Water Woods" for Henry.

The pause before the last line has had me thinking today about letting go of his body.

"Let me hold him one more time." And who ever has him hands him back to me and I hold him close. Even as I hold him, I know that I have to let him go, that telling him it was okay to go, singing his spirit out as it flew, that was not enough. I would have to put him down, walk away, not hold him again.

In that pause I feel that last holding, the last hand on him as I back away slowly and then turn and walk out of the room. How do you do that? I still don't know.

I loved him.
I held him close as if my life depended on it.
And the time came too soon, but I let him go.

4 comments:

  1. I still don't know how to let go, even when I seem to be doing it. Thinking of you and Henry and sending you love.

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  2. I'm with Erica.
    Love to you and Henry.
    Glad you got Jess to read for you. She's a treasure and it is beautiful.
    xo

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  3. You did all three of those for Henry, with a great deal of love and grace.

    It's a beautiful poem, read wonderfully by Jess. Thank you for requesting it, there is something different quality to hearing a poem read aloud than simply reading it.

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  4. So lovely, Sara. Thank you for posting.

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