Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Unafraid

Tonight at dinner, there was a couple who knew Henry well and many of the nuances of his story and a couple who we had never met who had no idea we had another child. I was out of the room when it came up. Brian was telling the story of Kathleen's name and Henry came up. I suppose he gave the brief version of the story.

When I came back in the room, there was no uncomfortable silence over the room. There was no smoothing over of the "Well, look at the beautiful baby you have now," variety. There was no changing of subject. Instead there were a few questions and space talk about Henry. And later out on the porch, the woman asked me whether it had been hard to be pregnant again. She apologized and hoped she wasn't bring up something I didn't want to talk about. No, I assured her, it is nice to be asked.

It is nice when people aren't afraid to talk about my baby and my loss and the wonder of his life and my sadness. I'm always surprised when I find them.


  1. When you find them, hang on to them Sara. Worth their weight in gold.

  2. It's so nice when we are allowed that space. xo

  3. It is always so welcome and suprising when people allow that time and space for our babies, and do not add the discomfort that can sometimes be suffocating.

  4. Indeed, amazing when you find them.

  5. I'm surprised when I meet them, too. It's nice to be reminded that there are some of them around.