Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Remembrances of a 6-year old

My niece was talking to my sister the other day and said she remembered visiting Henry. Here's what she remembered:

He didn't have any hair. Well, maybe he had a little hair, but he didn't have much hair at all.
He had little things that stuck up his nose to help him breathe.
He had a bed like a basket. I could stand on my tiptoes and look in and see him, but I couldn't touch.
I got to hold him. Did I ever feed him a bottle?

She was 3 1/2 when he died.

She asked my sister if Brian and I were still sad sometimes, because she's still sad sometimes. And she's happy that we are having another baby because Kathleen will have a brother or sister here. That's something I want very much for my little girl. She will always know that she has an older brother, but I want her to have a sibling to play with and fight with and share stories with and grow up with.


  1. A bittersweet post. I hope Kathleen has a little brother or sister to play with soon. One big brother in heaven doesn't seem enough. I certainly feel the same way for Angus.

  2. I love that she remembers Henry at all. It means so much to me that my adopted nieces (my dear friend's daughters) remember and talk about Ezra. Sadly I don't think my own nieces & nephews have been told about him in a way that will make them remember.

  3. I love that she remembers Henry. My Caelan was three and a half when his sister died. His favourite memory is of making Jordan smile several times with his antics. I missed the antics because I was in another room, but I remember being told about them. It's amazing how much kids that young can remember.

    When Jordan died I remember feeling so much that I had robbed (because of course her death was my fault) Caelan of a normal sibling relationship. I am so glad he finds so much joy in Jasper. He never forgets his sister though.

    I have no idea what my nieces and nephews think. 'They' don't talk about it, not with me. I wish they would.


  4. A sweet story. I like it when those who got to meet my Caitlin talk about when they visited her in the hospital. Thinking of you and Henry, Kathleen, and your little one growing. Peace.

  5. That is so sweet that she remembers Henry so well and misses him.

  6. I love it that she remembers, and (I hope this doesn't sound heartless) I also love that she's still sad sometimes and so brilliantly honest about it.

    Sending love.