Henry's Song

Under the Tree—March, part III
Do you have a special poem, song, prayer or quote in memory of your baby/ies?

I've written before aboutthe Elizabeth Mitchell CD You Are My Little Bird that I played for Henry in the morning both at home and when he was in the hospital. I still love that CD and even though I play it often for Kathleen, we still call it Henry's CD. We played that CD in the background at the funeral home.

In particular, I think of Henry when I sing "Peace Like a River." I sang that song often to him without the CD. It is the one song we chose for his funeral. I wanted to pick music and readings that were meaningful, but I just couldn't think at that point.

Henry had his own special song, too, one I made up and sang to him all the time. It was very simple.

Your name is Henry. Your mama loves you.
Your name is Henry. Your daddy loves you.
Your name is Henry. Grandparents love you.
Nana loves you.
Papa loves you.
Nana loves you.
Grampy loves you.
Big Nana loves you too.
Yes, they do. They really do.
They love their Henry.
They love their Henry.

It goes on. There is a verse for aunts, a verse for uncles, and one for cousins. Sometimes I would add other family members or friends or neighbors. I started singing this song to Henry in the NICU. I sang it to him at home when he was on oxygen and I was so scared and waiting for his surgery. I sang it to him in the hospital when he was recovering from surgery, and home again during the golden two-week period when we had a healthy baby. I sang it, choking with tears and fear when he ended up back in the hospital again, and as he was dying, as they did chest compressions and gave him medicine and watched his monitor, I started singing to him and my song was a thread of connection to him until they made room around the bed for me and I reached out to hold his foot and I kept singing until he was gone.

I sang this song at his grave side. I sang it months later, deep in despair, the night he visited me.

Your name is Henry.
Your mama loves and misses you.