Sunday, March 29, 2009

Part of Our Family, Part of Our Home

At a neighborhood party, somebody asked me if I would show Kathleen pictures of Henry when she was older. My answer tied in nicely with one of the Under the Tree questions for this month, so here's my answer to the first question.

Henry is all over our home.

We have large frames with many pictures on our mantle along with the angel that was on Henry's casket during his funeral, and my Willow Tree angel of hope and boy with a HOPE balloon. In the dining room, there is one shelf on in the hutch that has pictures of him, one of his hospital hats and one of his pacifiers.

In my office, I have a little three-tier shelf. One shelf has a picture of a cardinal (one of my Henry symbols) and the stuffed cardinal that makes cardinal calls when you squeeze it that he had in the hospital, and a vase of dried white roses from his funeral flowers and memorials. Next is a picture of him, a stone from his grave before it was resodded, and a little bottle of colored sand from our grief group. The third shelf has a picture of him.

We have memory lamps for him in both the living room and dining room with a picture of him next to each. I light the lamps each evening and leave them burning all night. If Kathleen is with me when I turn them on and off, I show her his picture and we say good night, Henry or good morning, Henry.

We will show Kathleen pictures of Henry. We will tell her stories and talk about her brother. He is part of our family, part of our home.


  1. I wouldnn't expect it to be any other way, Sara.

  2. That question struck me as so incredibly odd. I imagine Henry is such a natural, everyday part of your life that the question doesn't even occur to you. Of course you will share Henry with Kathleen, but not just when she's older. Always. He is and always will be her brother, your son. You love him and so does she.

  3. The question didn't seem odd when it was asked. I think it just felt nice to have somebody ask about Henry.

  4. I agree with what you said above, it is just nice to have someone ask!

  5. I think it is really never a question for us (bereaved parents) "if" we will share our angel children with any living children we may have or one day Hope to have. But for those that are not babylost, perhaps this seems like a big decision. If we are ever lucky enough to have a living child, Liam will be a part of their life as he is a part of ours. Like you with Henry, Liam is all over our home, he is our family and our child. Our children are not a secret to be kept locked away in a dark closet.

  6. Of course - he is the first child. I know it is hard for the "non-club members" to reconcile this. They think it is a choice. But it isn't. Our children remain ours regardless of where they reside.


  7. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart and thoughts with us. Henry was beautiful and such a precious boy